Today is February 20, 2010 and I am interviewing my father in Trinidad .
Q. What is your full name?
A. Victor Matadeen
Q. What is your relationship to the interviewer Adrian Matadeen?
A. I am his father.
Q. When you say father what do you mean?
A. I am his biological father by registered marriage to my wife Bernice Matadeen nee Roopchand.
Q. How old are you?
A. 22nd March 2010 I will be 68 years
Q. How many children do you have?
A. Four Children
Q.Are you the father of all four children?
A. Exactly yes!
Q.Who is your role model of a man?
A. In what context?
Q. As a masculine figure in your life
A. hmm, no one specifically stands out
Q.When did you first realize you are a male ?
A. At the age of 3 years old.
Q. Who first told you that you were a male ?
A. My mother, Sylvia.
Q.have you ever had thoughts of being other than a male?
A. No
Q. Never?
A. Never !
Q.Was there ever persons in your life who were of male gender but not male personality?
A.I do not understand.
Q. Homosexual people?
A. No
Q. What do you understand a homosexual to be ?
A. A male person with feminine tendencies.
Q.Your father did you grow up with him?
A.Partial ?
Q.Tell me what does partially mean ?
A.From 14 years old upwards I lived with my grandmother on my maternal side in San Juan and Reverend Kitney, a Canadian missionary family lodged at the Curepe Presbyterian Church , from the age of 18 years to 22 years in Curepe with them. At the age of 22 years I returned to my father's house in Pasea Tunapuna, and lived there for one year until I got married at the age of 23 years.
Q.What is your father's name?
A.Andrew Ramon Matadeen, he was born in Venezuela.
Q.Was your father Andrew a masculine man?
A.Yes!!
Q.What do you mean by masculine man in your description of your father Andrew?
A.(tone very angry and shouting) MY FATHER WAS A VERY AGGRESSIVE , VERY DOMINATING AND VERY VIOLENT IN HIS BEHAVIOUR TO HIS FAMILY. MY FATHER WAS A WOMANIZER!!!!
Q.By entire family who are you referring to with you in this family ?
A. The entire family is made up of my mother Sylvia, three brothers and three sisters.
Q. What is your birth order in this family?
A. I am the first born.
Q.Was your grandfather on either side masculine as you described your father Andrew Ramon?
A.Both of my grandfathers were deceased when I was born, both of my grandmothers were alive.
Q.So your father Andrew Ramon was a masculine man because he was aggressive , dominating , violent in his behavior to his entire family and a womanizer, correct?
A.Yeah!
Q. Are you a masculine man?
A. Yes, I am a masculine man, but not a macho man!
Q.So you are a masculine man but not a macho man?
A.Yes
Q.What do you understand the difference between masculine and macho to be?
A.A macho man is physically fit to do things, a homosapiens male , he does and likes physical chores , able to work and bring in an income and he is committed and responsible as family man.
Q.You said you are a masculine man but not a macho man?
A. Yeah
Q.Who in your life was macho?
A. My father was a macho man.
Q.But you said he was a masculine man, was your father both a masculine man and a macho man?
A. (terse angry voice) Yes he was both macho and masculine!
Q. Why are you saying you are masculine but not macho?
A. Because I never led an adulterous life but I lived a faithful and committed life to my family.
Q. Which family are you talking about?
A.To my relatives, siblings, my immediate children and wife.
Q. What is the composition of your immediate family?
A. My wife Bernice and my four children.
Q. You said you are not macho but masculine yet you describe yourself as macho but not masculine?
A. ( Shouts angrily) I AM MASCULINE BUT NOT MACHO!!!
Q.A macho man is a negative in your mind?
A.No, but I can procreate !
Q. A masculine man is a negative in your mind?
A. No.
Q.A man who cannot procreate is he masculine , macho , not , or both?
A. (loud) NO, A MAN MUST HAVE CHILDREN!!!!
Q.What was your masculine experience from the age of understanding , which you said was 3 years old to 14 years old living at your birth home in Pasea Tunapuna?
A. (sad broken voice) very hurtful
Q. Explain please?
A. (sad broken voice) bitter and disorienting
Q.In what way?
A.(angry loud strident tone) MY FATHER'S ATTITUDE WAS NOT CONDUCIVE AS A FIGUREHEAD AND BREADWINNER IN THE FAMILY LIFE! There was always conflict in the home by his male chauvinism!
Q.What do you mean by male chauvinism?
A. A playboy, living an adulterous life!
Q.Your immediate family in Pasea Tunapuna as a young boy becoming an adolescent man at the age of 14 years, what happened that you had to leave your birth home to go and live with your maternal grandmother in San Juan?
A. (sad broken voice) The constant nagging and advantage towards me by my father and the violence in the home , cause me to seek an alternative place of abode to finish my schooling.
Q.So you left your birth home voluntarily at the age of 14 years?
A. Yes
Q.Your education is?
A. I started school , Tunapuna Government Primary School, at the age of 5 years and finished at the age of 12 years. From 12 years to 17 years I attended Hillview College , graduating with one Senior Cambridge Subject B grade , Religious Knowledge and failing five others.
Q.What was your career path?
A. At the age of 17 years I began working as a courier with New India Insurance Company in Port of Spain, for 3 years. I left New India Insurance and started to work with Western General Insurance Company as a salesman for 1 year, during which time I wrote the postal services exam, and at the age of 23 years left Western General and went to work in the postal services where I remained for 36 years retiring at the rank of Inspector of Postal Services.
Q.What male friends did you have growing up?
A.Counterparts from College and school, I was not allowed to have friends at my father's house.
Q.What do you think about your father's effect on your life today looking back in the context as a male role model?
A. (Shouting angrily) HE WAS AN ANTI-MODEL, HE WAS NO MODEL AT ALL, NONE WHATSOEVER!!!!
Q.There is nothing you see good about your father?
A.NO!!!!, NOTHING !!!!!!
Q. Absolutely nothing?
A.(shouting loudly) NO!!!, NOTHING AT ALL!!!!, IF HE IS IN HEAVEN I WANT TO BE IN HELL, IF HE IS IN HELL I WANT TO BE IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q.Who took the role of fathering you?
A. My mother Sylvia, the Presbyterian Church Reverend Kitney and my maternal Grandmother.
Q.So your de facto father were 2 women and a clergy?
A. Yes
Q.Was Reverend Kitney a masculine and macho man to you?
A. Reverend Kitney was masculine but not macho, (sad broken voice ) he was more a father to me than my biological father.
Q.But you only lived with Reverend Kitney from the age of 14 years to 17 years , 3 years only, how did Reverend Kitney influence your decisions and your life?
A.Reverend Kitney adopted me as his son and showed me how to behave and he loved me. He groomed my life.
Q.Do you have more positive feelings for Reverend Kitney than your father Andrew Ramon?
A. Yes.
Q.Why is this?
A.I was never accepted by my father, he was eccentric, he had an ego and was very domineering.
Q. How do you describe yourself as a male person?
A.I am masculine , I do not have traits of a dominating personality as my father Andrew, I try to live a subtle life.
Q. What do you mean by subtle life?
A. I am very contented and more disciplined in my everyday life to my family and neighborhood where I live.
End of Interview.
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1 comment:
Hi Adrian,
On reading your interview with dad, it's clear the macho male model was hurtful, debilitating and widespread. Your grandfather and mine though thousands of miles apart in life, shared similar characteristics. I saw and know the effect those characteristcs had on my father. It is sad, but his life is past. Our lives go on, as we work to build better relationships where we can. Give my regards to your father.
Francesco Patafi
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